I used to be a regular Nightline viewer. But after Ted Koppel left I largely stopped watching. Last night, though, I was itching for some more news about what's going down in Iran and figured Nightline might be a better source of information than the cable news outlets. So what showed up on my DVR? A show almost entirely devoted to Suze Orman. As best I could tell (while fast-forwarding through this dreck) Orman was prancing around Bryant Park dispensing nuggets of financial wisdom to the common folk. There was one tiny, useless segment about Iran tacked on to the end of the broadcast. I felt like kicking Martin Bashir in the teeth.

I no longer receive text messages. So don't send me one. Because I'll never get it.

Just finished reading the Jonathan Franzen story that's set in the Ramsey Hill neighborhood of St. Paul. It chronicles the gentrification of the neighborhood through one pioneering family's implosion. It's ruthlessly entertaining.

Overheard on the 16 bus last evening: "You got tits and ass and you're Asian? How does that work?"

The Confederations Cup roster is set. Notable absence: Pablo Mastroeni. Looks like Ricardo Clark and Benny Feilhaber knocked him off the roster with very solid performances in the midfield Saturday night.

Toronto should never let Marco Velez on the field again. His performance Saturday was disgraceful. On L.A.'s first goal he just stands there and watches Alan Gordon put a free header in the back of the net. It appears the last thing on his mind is taking some action that might prevent a goal from being scored. Then Velez gets completely torched on the second goal and makes a half-hearted effort to chase down Edson Buddle. Sucking is semi-understandable. There's plenty of woeful players in MLS (and most of them seem to play for the Toronto backline!), but not even bothering to put up a semblance of effort?

A few things are on my mind:

1. I am thinking of renouncing my citizenship after last night's performance by the U.S.A. All offers will be entertained for my pledge of allegiance to another sovereign nation. Although my heart says Dominica, my footballing mind says Cote D'Ivoire. Or maybe Turkey. Concacaf nations are out, as are perennial futbol powerhouses.

2. Bunky County is now 4-0-2. We're in the top quarter of the table. Of course the table includes a completely ludicrous 68 teams. We play a nine-game season! How could we possibly be competing against 67 other squads? Our recent fine run of form has nothing to do with my performance. I've hardly been playing due to knee problems and general overall stunning incompetence. My other squad, the Indomitable Drinky Crows, returns to the pitch tonight.

3. I don't know what to think about the garden. Nothing seems to be growing. It might have something to do with fact that it hasn't rained here since roughly 2004. The plants that my friend Doug contributed all died quick, unheralded deaths (as expected). They've been replaced with non-special-needs plants obtained at the St. Paul Farmer's Market. It's probably not as grim as I think. Working at home, I wander out there three or four times daily to check on the progress. So if there is shit growing I probably wouldn't be able to detect the infinitesimal changes.

4. I am off to Chicago tomorrow. Friday night it's Houston v. Chicago at Toyota Park, arguably the best two teams in MLS right now. The Dynamo are just putting teams through the wood chipper in recent weeks. Their first-half 3-0 destruction of Toronto last weekend was as fine a performance as you'll witness in MLS. Of course Houston will be without Brian Ching and Ricardo Clark, so they won't be nearly the same squad tomorrow night. Chicago is a bit baffling. On paper they should be the best team in the league. At times they've lived up to billing, but never for a full 90 minutes. Then last week they get run out of their own stadium by a hapless Dallas squad. Now they'll be without Cuauthemoc Blanco and Gonzalo Segares. So maybe this isn't so great a match after all. Then Saturday it's the Art Institute of Chicago (with new modern wing!), followed by U.S.A.-Honduras at Soldier Field. After last night's debacle, I'm not sure which I'm more looking forward to. Maybe dim sum on Sunday. We're staying in Chinatown.

5. My latest piece on the Coleman-Franken clusterfuck got picked up by Marc Ambinder as one of his "6 clicks" for the day. Yeah baby. Every once in awhile I don't completely suck.

6. There's a new cheese shop in St. Paul. It is scrumptious.

I had the most enjoyable customer service interaction with the fine folks at Nationwide Advantage Mortgage this afternoon. Didn't have to sit on hold for ages, received prompt, informed answers to my questions and was treated delightfully. Big ups to Krissy and Kelly -- or whatever their names were. Unfortunately what they helped me figure out is that the financially smart move would probably be to just walk away from my damn house and dump it on the bank.