Thursday, October 29, 2009

The MLS playoffs begin today. Some (mostly completely obvious) thoughts:

1. I love the playoffs. To hell with you stinkin' Europhiles. Please go enjoy Hull City v. Wolves. But ...

2. No more than six teams deserved to make the post-season. There's just no compelling case to be made for Real Salt Lake or New England. Both teams gave up more goals than they allowed, and the Mormons couldn't even manage a winning record. It makes a mockery of the regular season when a team loses more games than they win and is rewarded for their failures. The final weekend, with six teams vying for the final two spots (while riveting), proves the point. With their entire season on the line, only two of the squads could manage to secure three points.

3. That said, Real Salt Lake has the potential to wreak havoc in the playoffs. They finished the season strong and have all the pieces to compete with any team in the league. There's some weird Andy Williams mojo going on with that squad. Robert Warzycha might want to check the grounds for buried amulets prior to kickoff.

4. Shalrie Joseph is the best player in the league (not named Landon Donovan). Where would New England be without the indomitable Grenadan midfielder? Certainly not hosting Chicago in the playoffs. Joseph was his usual dynamic force in the center of the pitch, but dramatically upped his offensive production with the absence of Taylor Twellman and Steve Ralston for large chunks of the season, leading the team in both goals and assists. Don't bother trying to convince me that Julian de Guzman is a better player.

5. Lord do I detest Seattle. I can't give you a rational reason. But every time I see one of those smug, lime-green schmucks on TV I want to shove a pool cue down their throats. (It's a good thing I'm not going to MLS Cup this year.)

6. But I love Osvaldo Alonso unconditionally. How is it that no other MLS team was pounding on this guy's door when he was patrolling the midfield for Charleston Battery? Do MLS coach's even watch USL-1 games? All the attention has gone to the dreamy Swede, the crafty Colombian and the American metalhead, but Alonso was Seattle's most valuable player. His combination of bite and guile in the midfield is a rare commodity. And the dude started crying when he went down with an injury back in May.

7. Don't miss halftime at MLS Cup. Brucio is going to race Nick Garcia from endline to endline on the nasty fake turf. The winner secures a starting spot on Toronto's back line in 2010 -- when Ray Hudson will be the gaffer.

8. If anyone utilizes the phrase "It's Bouna time" ever again, I will personally disembowel them with a rusty old meat clever that my neighbor Marty left in my garage.

9. The Indomitable Drinky Crows play our final game of the season tonight. After winning the championship last season, we've somehow managed to win just once (a forfeit) this round. It's the same damn league. It makes no sense. But we will be celebrating tonight at the Sweetwater (and watching the opening match of the MLS playoffs).

10. Bruce Arena is the coach of the year. There is no discussion. He took a completely dysfunctional squad of sniping school girls and transformed it into the odds-on favorite to win MLS Cup. What's more, he did it with no salary cap room to spend on major signings. (Don't even talk to me about Robert Warzycha. All you can say about the guy is he managed to not completely fuck up the best team in the league. My nonagenarian aunt Allie could have done that.)

11. Somebody please give Richie Williams a head coaching job. New York is undoubtedly too stupid to hold on to him. Toronto will undoubtedly pick some drunken yahoo with a foreign accent. Hopefully that means D.C. United will claim the Ankle Biting Midget of Death.

12. Los Angeles will win MLS Cup. Back in March I wrote up my MLS predictions. The team I picked to finish dead last: L.A. Now they're the trendy pick to win it all. Leave some room for me on that bandwagon!


Anonymous leper said...

There's a small chance I'll join you and the rest of the Drinky Crows at the Sweetwater tonight.

I'm really looking forward to that Brucio v Nick Garcia smackdown. Should be epic. I'm only left to wonder - why is Bunky County the only media outlet covering this event?

2:05 PM  
Blogger Demko said...

Awesome. Hope to see you there.

2:42 PM  
Blogger chad said...

wiliams is our talisman. his wife has battled leukemia all year - anyone in the stands and bench would come down on the pitch to stick up for andy.

11:45 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

When it comes to omega replica handbags, the advantage to own a artist one is something that not abounding people. It is alone the advantageous few that can in actuality allow in the affluence of owning these. In fact, a lot of of us would accept to save up for absolutely some time if we wish to buy items. Fortunately, there now is addition advantage account pursuing. Thanks to the apple of replication, you can now buy replica handbags that attending absolutely like the absolute item. The technology abaft archetype has appear absolutely a continued way, and is now around duplicate from swiss replica watches one another. Here is a account of places that you can buy these accoutrements from. Every city-limits absolutely has a abode that sells abounding of these replica items. However, you charge to apperceive that not all of these food are good, and only a few in actuality affliction to banal the best replica handbags. Since the bold today is about authoritative huge profits, abundance owners are not afraid to skimping on superior in adjustment to accept top sales. Hence, you charge to chanel replica
be accurate and charge to absolutely watch out for the affectionate of commodity that you are browsing.The advantage to buy bags online is something that humans accept bound apparent to be one of the a lot of breitling replicareliable and acceptable ones out there. Abounding individuals accept even begin the best replica handbags online, afterwards accepting searched everywhere abroad for it.

8:34 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Burberry Belt Tory Burch Boots Louis Vuitton Belt Ferragamo Belt Marc Jacobs Handbags Lululemon Outlet Christian Louboutin Shoes True Religion Outlet Tommy Hilfiger Outlet
Michael Kors Outlet Coach Outlet Red Bottoms Kevin Durant Shoes New Balance Outlet Adidas Outlet Coach Outlet Online Stephen Curry Jersey Vans Outlet Ralph Lauren Outlet
Ugg Boots Sale UGGS For Women Skechers Go Walk Adidas Yeezy Boost Adidas Yeezy Adidas NMD Coach Outlet North Face Outlet Ralph Lauren Outlet Puma Outlet Polo Outlet
Under Armour Outlet Under Armour Hoodies Herve Leger MCM Belt Nike Air Max Louboutin Heels Jordan Retro 11 Converse Outlet Nike Roshe Run UGGS Outlet North Face Outlet

4:56 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

true religion jeans
ralph lauren pas cher
nike air huarache
adidas nmd
omega outlet
ugg boots
the north face outlet
christian louboutin outlet
ferragamo shoes
nike air max uk

2:46 AM  
Blogger chenmeinv0 said...

adidas superstar trainers
ray bans uk
nike huarache ultra
fitflops sale
true religion outlet
puma outlet
the north face outlet
michael kors handbags
michael kors outlet
fitflops shoes

12:23 AM  
Blogger love said...

coach outlet
nike presto femme
kate spade outlet
christian louboutin shoes
polo ralph lauren outlet
nike requin
kate spade outlet
ugg boots clearance
christian louboutin sale
canada goose outlet

1:19 AM  
Blogger amany said...

شركة نقل عفش من الرياض الى مصر
شركة نقل عفش بالدمام شركة نقل عفش بالدمام
شركة نقل عفش بالاحساء شركة نقل عفش بالاحساء
نقل عفش داخل مكة نقل عفش داخل مكة

7:47 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home